A scholarship winning essay can be the key to unlocking your dream of studying in the USA. For many Nepalese students, scholarships make education abroad affordable by covering tuition and living costs. A strong scholarship essay is often the deciding factor in securing funding that moves you forward. But what do scholarship committees look for in an essay, and how do you write one that truly stands out?
In this blog, we’ll explain everything you need to know in order to write a successful scholarship essay. We’ll go through what scholarship committees look for in general, outline a few easy steps to write the essay, summarize some common mistakes to avoid, and highlight excellent examples of scholarship winning essays for US universities, with tips on why they worked. Whether you’re applying for scholarships to study in the USA or elsewhere, this guide will help you write confidently and effectively.
Understand What Scholarship Committees Look For
Scholarship committees look at hundreds, even thousands, of essays. Why? To understand who you are, not just your grades and test scores. Your essay is an opportunity to share a bit of your personality, your values, and your aspirations.
Here are some of the characteristics committees are looking at:
- Authenticity – Genuine, honest stories that truly reflect and relate to you.
- Resilience – How have you challenged adversity and learned from it?
- Goals & Ambition – Your academic and career plan.
- Potential – Your ability to give back to your community, marketplace, or field.
- Clarity and Focus – Clear writing, with a clear structure, that answers the prompt fully.
Remember that committees are looking for students who not only need help financially but whose potential is worth the investment and will also make a meaningful impact in their studies and communities.
Steps To Write A Scholarship-Winning Essay
Writing a scholarship essay can feel overwhelming, but breaking it down into manageable steps helps:
- Read the prompt closely. Before you ever write, you want to be sure what is being asked of you.
- Brainstorm ideas. Think about your life and any experiences, challenges, accomplishments, and goals that fit the prompt.
- Create an outline. Before you begin writing, it might be helpful to have a plan for your introduction, body (main points), and conclusion to keep your essay clear and organized.
- Write an interesting introduction. Use a personal story or other insight to catch the reader’s attention.
- Tell your story! Give specific examples to keep the reader interested, and use emotion to express your thoughts and feelings.
- Show that you grew from your experiences and how your thoughts or goals have changed. Explain how your experiences related to your goals or ambitions.
- Edit, proofread, and edit again. Check your grammar and spelling. Make sure your writing is clear and coherent. You can always ask friends or mentors for assistance in reviewing your essay.
Common Mistakes To Avoid While Writing Essays
To make your essay stronger, watch out for these pitfalls:
- Being too generic. Avoid clichés and vague statements. Make your essay personal and unique.
- Ignoring the prompt. Always stay focused on the question asked.
- Repeating your resume. Don’t just list achievements — tell stories behind them.
- Poor structure. Disorganized writing makes it hard for committees to follow your story.
- Overusing quotes. Use quotes sparingly; your voice should shine.
- Last-minute writing. Start early to give yourself time to revise.
Some Examples of Scholarship Winning Essay
Example 1: Going Merry Scholarship Success Story — Jesus Adrian Arroyo-Ramirez
Jesús Adrian Arroyo-Ramirez wrote a winning scholarship essay (and video!) that he submitted on Going Merry. He earned an outstanding $40,000 through the Golden Door Scholarship.
Essay Prompt: What differentiates you from the hundreds of DACA students who apply to our scholarship? Use one of those opportunities to tell us something else we cannot see just by looking at your grades, test scores, and transcripts.
“I always knew I was different than my friends in some way. Growing up, I struggled to speak English while everyone else had little to no problems. I needed extra help in school while my friends coasted by with ease. My friends would hop on planes and travel all around the world while I had to stay at home. At the age of 13 all of my friends started driving while I still couldn’t.
I built up the courage and asked my mother why I did not have access to the simple liberties everyone else did. My name Is Jesus Adrian Arroyo-Ramirez, and I was illegally brought to this country when I was just six years old. At the time I had no clue that I was breaking any laws, and I did not realize the fact that my life was going to change forever. Growing up with a different citizenship situation than my peers was and still is the biggest challenge I have to face in my life.
Looking back there is not a single thing that I would change. Knowing that I had to work harder than everyone else led me to be the person that I am today. I took that fire inside of me, pushed myself, graduated first in my class with a cumulative 4.0 GPA, became a Kansas Scholar, and graduated High School with a semester’s worth of college credit. In November of 2016, everything began to look up for me. I received a work permit and a social security card all thanks to the DACA program. I was finally able to get my license, get a job, and most importantly attend college.
I plan to continue my success in the classroom and do everything to the best of my ability as I know that under my current circumstances it can all be ripped away from me at any moment. Growing up with my situation has taught me to not take advantage of a single opportunity. There has been continued support around me past and current and I know there are people out there rooting for my success. I will strive to be the first generation in my family to graduate from an American University and I will set a stepping stone for my future family so they will not have to struggle as I did. My citizenship is not a setback, it is a mere obstacle that I will always learn to work around if it means giving my future children a better life, just like my mother did for me.”
Why This Scholarship Essay Worked:
Jesus shares personal struggles that shaped his identity and motivation. His story is honest and emotional, showing resilience and clear goals, which creates a strong connection with scholarship readers.
Example 2: Millennium Gates Last Dollar Scholarship Essay
Millennium Gates Last Dollar Scholarship and $3,500 in Outside Scholarship Essay Examples by Famyrah Lafortune
Essay Prompt: “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela. Describe a change you would like to make in the world. Tell us about how you would plan to make that change, and what obstacles you might encounter along the way. (No more than 400 words)
“Nothing is more important to me than ending racial inequality and discrimination in America, as I do not want my younger siblings to face the discrimination Black people continue to face in our present society. After winning our fight to freedom and provoking the passage of the 1964 Civil Rights Act, why do Black teens face higher poverty rates than Whites and are still four times more likely to be incarcerated? “That was such a long time ago. You really need to get over it,” my White peers say when referring to racial inequalities. But, why then, in 7th grade, after winning Nazareth Academy’s Spelling Bee competition, did my fellow White classmate state with a heavy dose of surprise, “You know…when I first saw you, I didn’t think you were going to be smart?”
I hope to contribute to ending racial discrimination by utilizing our present interconnectivity and running a social media campaign titled #It’sNotOver. #It’sNotOver aims to oppose the widespread misconception that, because racial inequality was legally outlawed, de facto racial inequality does not still persist in our society. Our recent presidential election may have brought life to a ‘Divided America,’ but it also exposed how influential social media is. By raising awareness of racial disparities that occur everywhere, I might encourage a new wave of change in our country like that of the present Time’s Up movement. Furthermore, if I can access the influence of celebrities in my #It’sNotOver campaign, like that of Time’s Up, I might similarly capture the attention of millions of people and inspire action against this issue across the globe.
I know that social media can only do so much in addressing these issues as not everyone can afford the luxury of having internet access. However, I hope that my campaign can inspire all those who do have access to take it upon themselves to be the change by being inspired by the fact that we are globally united in this issue. Although I expect negativity and criticism from people who either do not believe that this issue exists or do not believe in our cause, I am willing to encounter it if it means our society as a whole irrevocably can grow to accept each other’s differences.”
Why This Scholarship Essay Worked:
Famyrah clearly explains a significant social issue with passion and personal experience. Her plan is detailed and practical, and she honestly addresses challenges she expects to face. This combination of authenticity, awareness, and vision makes her essay powerful.
Example 3: Overcoming Personal Challenges
Essay Prompt: Describe a significant challenge you have faced and how you plan to overcome it in your pursuit of higher education.
“Growing up in a single-parent household with limited income, financial stability was always a constant worry. Watching my mother work multiple jobs to provide for me inspired me to pursue an education that could break the cycle of hardship. However, the cost of college seemed insurmountable, and many nights I worried that my dream would remain just that — a dream.
To overcome this, I committed myself to academic excellence, maintaining a 4.0 GPA while working part-time jobs to save for tuition. I also volunteered at local community centers to develop leadership and communication skills that would prepare me for college life. These experiences taught me resilience, time management, and the value of hard work.
My plan is to study Business Administration, focusing on financial planning to help others like my family avoid financial stress. Winning this scholarship will ease my financial burden, allowing me to focus fully on my studies and community involvement. It will empower me to become a role model for younger students facing similar challenges.
I am determined to turn my financial barriers into stepping stones toward success and to use the knowledge I gain to support others in overcoming their obstacles. Education is my path to a better life, not just for me but for my community.”
Why This Scholarship Essay Worked:
This essay shares a relatable challenge with honesty and shows how the writer overcame it through dedication and hard work. The clear link between past struggles and future goals, along with community impact, makes it compelling.
Example 4: Using STEM to Improve Healthcare Access
Essay Prompt: Explain how your passion for science and technology can help solve a problem in your community.
“Since childhood, I have been fascinated by how technology can solve complex problems. Living in a rural area with limited access to healthcare, I witnessed many families struggle to get timely medical assistance. This inspired me to combine my passion for science and technology to make healthcare more accessible.
I began learning coding and app development in high school, and I created a simple prototype app to connect patients with nearby clinics offering free or affordable services. While still in its early stages, this project has motivated me to pursue a degree in Computer Science focused on healthcare technology.
My vision is to develop user-friendly platforms that provide remote medical consultations and health education to underserved communities. This can reduce the burden on hospitals and bring critical care to those who cannot travel easily.
Winning this scholarship will provide me with the resources to deepen my knowledge and advance my projects. I am committed to using technology not just as a career but as a tool to improve lives and bridge the healthcare gap in my community.”
Why This Scholarship Essay Worked:
This essay blends a clear passion with a practical solution to a real problem. The initiative shown by creating an app prototype and the writer’s commitment to future goals impress scholarship committees.
Ready To Write Your Scholarship-Winning Essay?
Writing a scholarship essay can feel daunting, but by understanding what committees want, following simple steps, avoiding common mistakes, and learning from real examples, you can craft an essay that opens doors.
If you’re a Nepalese student planning to study in USA, a well-written scholarship essay can be your ticket to easing financial burdens and focusing on your dreams.
Confused about where to start or how to make your essay stand out?
Book a free counseling session with EduAdvices! Our expert advisors will guide you step-by-step and help maximize your scholarship chances.
